Love is loyalty

truelove

Love is loyalty.

And I don’t think we live in a culture that lacks loyalty, I think we live in a culture that lacks love. True love.

Loyalty? It’s there. It’s everywhere. Talk to someone who won’t walk into Moe’s because they’re a Chipotle person. Talk crap about someone’s favorite team who hasn’t won a game all season. Watch their reaction. Ask an Apple user what they think of a droid phone. Ask a Ford or a Dodge truck owner what they think of a Chevy.

Loyalty is everywhere. The problem is love.

Our culture has watered down what love is and what we think it is. Our culture and society has swapped out love for desire, true love for lust, 50 years of happiness for 5 hours of stories with your girls, or boys.

We don’t have a loyalty issue, we have a love issue.

We have an issue in our culture that negates the selfless loyalty of love with selfish desire for lust. 

We have a society that pushes online dating if you’re single for too long. Nothing is wrong with online dating, but the constant need to set someone up is only arguably contributing to the growing divorce rate. It’s not about friendships and bonds that lead to relationships, it’s about filling a void society created for you.

Couples get married who don’t even love each other. When was the last time you used an online website to find a best friend? Again, nothing wrong with these things, if you CHOOSE it. Having it pushed on you, come on. What happened to wanting to fall in love with someone who is your best friend? What happened to wanting love, not a relationship. What happened to wanting a family, not someone to have kids with so you can co-parent.

You should want someone to have kids with, I do. I want nothing more. But you should also have a desire to have a family, to have that best friend and a partner to raise kids with, to create a family with. To create memories as a family.

We live in a culture that lacks love. True love. 2000 years ago, whether you believe it or not, Jesus Christ died on a cross for you, and me. That’s true love. A better love story than Hollywood could ever write.

Today, people don’t care about their spouses enough to remember an anniversary. To do something special for no reason. To not downplay the relationship because they’ll be potentially mocked. To stand up for a relationship they care about. To admit when they were wrong. To change.

I get it, by now you’re probably thinking what do I know, I’m single. “Wait until you’re married.” I get it. I’ve heard it for the last decade. Doesn’t change anything or the points I’m making. Your emotion tells you that “wait until you’re married.”, but in realty its either ignorance or conviction. Because I’m sure there’s a happy couple reading this that says you’re spot on, and I need to fight harder in my relationship, or I’ve lived through this.

It’s not a given. But love is loyalty.

I’ve seen relationships fall apart at the seams, and have been very close to some of them. Too close to some of them. I’ve learned some hard lessons. I’ve made some mistakes. I’ve done some things I regret. I’ve done others that I would do 100 times over. That’s my heart.

Going through what I’ve been through in the last 30 years, especially in my most recent years, I would strongly encourage you to be loyal to your love. I’m not using love as a pronoun naming someone, I’m saying be selflessly loyal to the love in your heart. If it’s true love, esteem it above everything else.

If for some reason, you took then time to read all this, I would simply leave you with this… Jesus said thou shalt love thy neighbor as thyself.  Love your NEIGHBOR, who you probably don’t even care about that much, like you love yourself. How about your wife? How about your husband? How about that person you started dating that you think you could marry. Do you truly love them? Are you selflessly, fully-devoted to the loyalty of loving them?

Temptation is real. Trials are inevitable. Short-term failure will occur. But at the end of the day, love, true love, is absolute loyalty. And I’ve seen relationships that demonstrate this and prove this to be true. Love is loyalty.

Just my thoughts tonight.

 If you care to comment, would love to hear your thoughts.

JB

  • Roberta Chaney

    It’s amazing how each one of your posts is timed so perfectly with what burdens me heavily.. your insight on such deep topics blows me away.. this touches my core .. being married for 17 years and discovering my “love” was carrying on an affair for the best part of over a year has me cursing the words love and loyalty. We are raising our children to believe things are disposable and not worth fighting for ie.. friendships, jobs, and ultimately;spouses.. Lets start speaking to our children about the importance of commitment , honor and true love!!

    • Justin J Basch

      I appreciate the comment a lot. Quite humbling and encouraging to know my words can impact people.